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Volume 24 No. 133
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Top Ten....Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Similarities Between Queen Elizabeth and Tony Danza.” CBS' David Letterman said, “We know it’s her birthday today, Queen Elizabeth, 88 years old. It’s also Tony Danza’s birthday” ("Late Show,” CBS, 4/21).

10) “Both speak fluent English.”
9) “They visit the same doctor for old boxing injuries.”
8) “Neither knows what the Queen of England does.”
7) “Same college nickname: ‘The Burrito Pit.’”
6) “Both played for the Columbus Blue Jackets.”
5) “Occasionally mistaken for Scott Baio.”
4) “Married their second cousins.”
3) “Their public appearances are routinely protested.”
2) “Lucrative endorsement deals.”
1) “Both have seen Danny DeVito naked.”