Last night's edition of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" featured guest host John Oliver playing the role of "Judge Johnny" in a parody of a TV judge show. Correspondent Jason Jones said, "Our next defendant is the only cyclist anyone has ever heard of, having won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times after taking an unprecedented amount of steroids, he's perhaps best known for having one tomato under his carrot. He is, of course, noted (EXPLETIVE) Lance Armstrong." Oliver noted Armstrong is "being sued by the DOJ" for $120M for "cheating when he was sponsored by the U.S. Postal Service." The broadcast aired news clips that said Armstrong's defense is that he was lying and the USPS should have known he was lying, with Oliver noting, "This guy has got a lot of ball. He isn't just pleading not guilty here, he's pleading so guilty it's your fault for not knowing how guilty he is." Oliver made his ruling and said, "On the basis of this world-record narcissism, I find the defendant a giant douche" ("The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," Comedy Central, 7/30).
NBC’s Jay Leno: “The NFL training camps opened up last week. Players said it's nice to be under the lights again, you know, besides the one in the interrogation rooms” ("The Tonight Show," NBC, 7/30).
