Laugh Track....End Game
NBC’s Jay Leno: “The NFL draft is underway, or as L.A. calls it, fantasy football. With the fifth selection in the NFL draft, the Detroit Lions selected BYU standout Ziggy Ansah, I think that’s his name, Ziggy Ansah. Native of Ghana, Ziggy never even played football until three years ago. Well, neither did the Lions, so it’s a perfect fight. I mentioned this the other night, Cleveland Browns linebacker Quentin Groves was arrested for soliciting a prostitute. Today, the NFL handed its harshest punishment. He will remain with the Cleveland Browns. … A lot of injuries for the Lakers this season, it has been rough. Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, Steve Blake, Jodie Meeks, all injured. But hey, they're getting older. I don’t want to say they're too old, but today, the team was tricked into taking out a reverse mortgage on the Staples Center. The Lakers are so old, when you foul them now it's elder abuse. Instead of showering after a game, they get a sponge bath. They are so old their illegitimate kids now have their own illegitimate kids. Instead of dating the Kardashians, they’re dating the Collins sisters, Joan and Jackie” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 4/26).