Laugh Track....The Italian Job
Former MLBer Mike Piazza appeared on ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last night and host Jimmy Kimmel said, “We haven’t seen you in quite a while. You’ve been in Italy coaching?” Piazza said, “I’ve been coaching the Italian team. They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” Piazza said of his departure from the Dodgers, “The team had just been sold, Fox bought the team from the O’Malley’s, so it was going through a transition. They had never owned a team before and they didn’t quite get the dynamics of negotiating with athletes.” Kimmel added, “They did a horrible job owning the team, they really did” (“Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC, 2/19).
NBC’s Jay Leno: “Over the weekend, President Obama played golf with Tiger Woods and Tiger said the President was a very good golfer for a guy who only plays five days a week. You know what the President’s handicap is? Doesn’t understand economics. Actually, Tiger Woods gave the President some very valuable tips. The most valuable one: Erase all your text messages. … An investigation has uncovered that Tiffany engagement rings being sold at Costco are fake. … Fake engagement rings? Who’s buying these, Manti Te’o? Experts now say that drugs that end up in our water supply get into fish. Today, Lance Armstrong said, ‘That’s what happened to me. I must have been swimming’” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 2/19).
Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert said “spend your cash while you can because California’s new tax plan for the wealthy has already claimed one casualty.” PGAer Phil Mickelson is “going to take drastic action and in pro golf that could mean carrying his own putter. Folks, he’s got no choice. He makes only $60 million a year and California has raised his taxes three percent. So Mickelback is considering ‘moving out of California or even retiring altogether.’ I warned you that these tax hikes could cause our best and brightest to take their talents elsewhere. Do you know what happens if Phil Mickelson isn’t here to win those millions of dollars? Someone else will. Is that suddenly okay? … Colbert said “this is about transparency” after the media was barred from filming or photographing President Obama playing golf with Tiger Woods, which caused a minor controversy among media outlets. Colbert: “This is about the free press holding our leader accountable. I mean, it’s one thing to keep us in the dark about a fleet of flying robo-assassins (in the form of Predator drones), but a round of golf on your day off. Where’s the judicial oversight?” (“The Colbert Report,” Comedy Central, 2/19).