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Volume 24 No. 113

The Back Of The Book

          NBA Commissioner David Stern was a guest on the "Late     Show" with David Letterman on Friday.  Stern presented the     "Top Ten New Slogans For The NBA."  After walking out to the     middle of the stage, Letterman asked, "Are you ready?  All     set?"  Stern: "I'm ready."  Letterman: "Did you warm up?"      Stern: "I'm ready."  Letterman: "OK, here we go" (1/15):
10) With Michael Jordan gone, maybe your team will have a chance to win.
9) You never know who Dennis Rodman is going to marry next.
8) We've added a third basket for more scoring.
7) We all just lost a lot of money, so please tip your point guard.
6) What else are you going to watch – hockey? (NOTE: This earned the most audience response, with some boos. After his delivery, Stern was heard saying, "Sorry, Gary." Letterman then said to Stern: "Great. A very brave man").
5) A lot like the WNBA, but with men.
4) Please watch our games so we don't have to get real jobs.
3) Who knows, maybe one of our players will become Governor of Minnesota.
2) Some arenas are now selling nachos for under $20. Letterman: "No, under $20. It's not possible."
1) More millionaires in shorts than at a Microsoft company picnic!