The Back Of The Book

GET DAVE AN OFFICE AT OLYMPIC TOWER: TOP TEN NBA IDEAS

1.11.1999

          The following lists David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways The     NBA Can Get Their Fans Back" ("CBS," 1/8):              10)
                        If fans don't buy tickets, Shaq makes another movie. 
      
       9)      40% more       groin pulls!   
       8)      Once a       week let a fan choke Latrell Sprewell.   
       7)      Find a       way to give that Michael Jordan guy a little more exposure.   
       6)      If the       players really are in it for the love of the game, pay the fans millions       of dollars and let the players shell out 75 bucks a night.   
       5)      Players       go to homes of season ticket holders to change out-of-reach lightbulbs.         
       4)      If the       ball goes out of bounds, everyone in the stands gets a cookie.   
       3)      Here's       a thought – how 'bout someone other than the Bulls winning once in       a while.   
       2)      Replace       the Knicks with the Jets.   
       1)      10 Cheerleaders,       9 uniforms.

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https://www.sportsbusinessjournal.com/Daily/Issues/1999/01/11/The-Back-Of-The-Book/GET-DAVE-AN-OFFICE-AT-OLYMPIC-TOWER-TOP-TEN-NBA-IDEAS.aspx

10)	If fans don't buy tickets, Shaq makes another movie.
9)	40% more groin pulls!
8)	Once a week let a fan choke Latrell Sprewell.
7)	Find a way to give that Michael Jordan guy a little more exposure.
6)	If the players really are in it for the love of the game, pay the fans millions of dollars and let the players shell out 75 bucks a night.
5)	Players go to homes of season ticket holders to change out-of-reach lightbulbs.
4)	If the ball goes out of bounds, everyone in the stands gets a cookie.
3)	Here's a thought – how 'bout someone other than the Bulls winning once in a while.
2)	Replace the Knicks with the Jets.
1)	10 Cheerleaders, 9 uniforms.