The NFL was front and center during the season premiere of Comedy Central's "South Park" last night, as the Redskins name controversy, the league's domestic violence crisis and even JERRY JONES' alleged personal behavior were mocked on the show.
A REDSKINS START UP: The episode began with the boys trying to find a name for a start-up company before Cartman tells everyone he has the "greatest start-up company name ever: Washington Redskins." Kyle noted, "I'm pretty sure that's taken." But Cartman replied, "It's not, dude. Some dumb court thingy happened and the trademark got pulled. We can use it and the logo!" He noted there was "already brand name awareness and it's instantly recognizable." Later, the boys are shown in their new company's office when Redskins Owner DANIEL SNYDER, coach JAY GRUDEN and QB KIRK COUSINS come in. Snyder said, "We ask that you please stop using the name Washington Redskins for your organization." Cartman replied, "Stop? But why?" Snyder: "Because we are the Washington Redskins and we are a football team. You have no right to use our name to get attention." Cartman said the trademark "got pulled, so I'm totally free to use the name, actually." Snyder: "Don't you see when you call your organization the Washington Redskins, it's offensive to us." Cartman: "How is it offensive?" Gruden exclaimed, "How is it offensive? Jesus!" Snyder: "We are a proud team, Mr. Cartman. We have no wish to be associated with people who actively do nothing." Gruden: "Makes us feel like a joke!" Cartman: "We have total respect for you. When we named our company Washington Redskins, it was out of deep appreciation for your team and your people." Snyder asked if they they could change the name "out of decency." Cartman said, "Ummm, no, because I don't want to and we can't just change the name of our company because it's like super hard."
TAKING A STAND: The success of the company was talked about on a radio broadcast, with the show's guest saying, "Let’s not forget that there's a people here who are not happy about the use of the name: The football Washington Redskins." The radio show's host replied, "Well, yeah, but does anyone really care about them?" The good feelings towards the boys' company continued as the N.Y. Times front page headline read "ISIS Copies Washington Redskins." This led to the boys arguing about whether to issue a statement condemning ISIS. Cartman said, "Digging in our heels and pissing on public opinion is what the Washington Redskins are all about! Now come on, guys! If you want to be a successful business then you have to be honest about what you are. Once you take a stand on something, you're pretending like your company is about more than money. Then all of a sudden you're the NFL and your players get caught molesting little boys." Kyle corrected him and said, "That's the Catholic Church!" Eric said, "NFL, Catholic Church, same thing. Okay, let's use the Catholic Church. You take a moral stand on issues, you say you're about honor and integrity and the next thing you know your clergymen are getting caught beating up their wives in an elevator." Once again, Kyle corrected him, "That's the NFL!"
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Last night's show parodied the NFL commissioner
with a "Goodell-Bot" working for team owners |
LOOKING FOR LEADERSHIP: Snyder is later shown speaking with NFL Commissioner ROGER GOODELL at league HQ, with Snyder saying, "Is the league just going to sit by while my team and my players are compared to ISIS? You have to do something, Commissioner Goodell. What are you going to do about this?" At this point, actual audio from Goodell's press conference last Friday is heard, with Goodell saying, "I will get it right and do whatever is necessary to accomplish that." Looking confused, Snyder said, "What?" More audio from Goodell's press conference, "We will continue to identify and add expertise to our team." Snyder looked incredulous and said, "That's the most ridiculous, nothing answer I have ever heard." More Goodell audio, "Everyone will participate in education sessions starting in the next month." Now thoroughly frustrated, Snyder said, "Aww, this thing is broken!" It is then revealed that Goodell is actually a robot that is malfunctioning, with Snyder saying, "Get all the NFL owners on Skype! This thing is broken again!" The next scene features Snyder addressing the other 31 owners and saying, "So I call upon the help of all owners, you cannot let my people be belittled like this." Colts Owner JIM IRSAY said, "Dan, you don't want to be dealing with this stuff. Let the Goodell-bot do it." But Ravens Owner STEVE BISCIOTTI said, "That thing hasn't worked right since we bought it." Chargers Owner ALEX SPANOS noted, "If the Goodell-bot is broken we must stay out of it more than even usual."
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Jerry Jones is shown in his luxury box, with a blonde
woman appearing suddenly nearby |
NOTHING OFF LIMITS: Toward the end of the episode, AT&T Stadium is shown with an announcer saying, "Beautiful night in Arlington, Texas, as the Dallas Cowboys get set to take on the Washington Redskins. That is, of course, Washington Redskins the football team, not Washington Redskins the audacious crowd funding company." The other announcer in the booth said, "If you ask me, the Redskins are a scam." The first announcer replied, "You're talking about the crowd funding company Redskins?" The Redskins ultimately did not show up kickoff, with one announcer saying, "Jerry Jones must be happy, this means a forfeit and another win for the Cowboys." As the announcer was speaking, the episode cut to Jones sitting in the first row of his luxury box, where a blond woman suddenly appears ("South Park," Comedy Central, 9/24).
