Premier League Champion Manchester United Unveils New Kit For '13-14 Season

ManU unveiled its new kit for the '13-14 season, according to Thom Gibbs of the London TELEGRAPH. Gone "are the days of natty stripes, laced collars or new sponsors passing as an overhaul." These days it is "all fabrics hewn from by astronauts, sweat-elimination technology and a constrained cut" that will actually make players "16% better at throw-ins, but fans look 74% fatter." ManU does not disappoint with its new Nike effort, which is not only 23% lighter than previous Nike shirts but has actually, handilly, "also been designed to give the Reds the best chance of victory on the pitch." The new United effort "does feel a bit sober, a little disappointing, even." It is probably "still an improvement on the tablecloth-inspired effort of last season, though" (TELEGRAPH, 6/5).