Laugh Track....Deflating News

ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel said, “The New England Patriots put out a point by point rebuttal to the report that found it was likely that Patriots locker room attendants deflated the footballs intentionally and that Tom Brady knew they were doing it. And this is hilarious: One of the key pieces of evidence is text messages sent between two locker room guys. One of the guys in the text actually refers to himself as ‘The Deflator’ … so the Patriots in their rebuttal are saying the reason he calls himself that is not because he deflates footballs … (but) calling himself ‘The Deflator’ was a term he used to refer to losing weight. … So the Patriots are blaming it on the fat guy. That’s what’s going on here. Are they really trying to tell us his nickname is ‘The Deflator?’ Not since a rapper named C. Murder was convicted of murder has there been a more ridiculous case than this one” ( “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC, 5/15).

CBS’ David Letterman said, “It’s a sad day for professional football. You know, Tom Brady has been suspended for four games. People are saying, ‘What will Tom Brady do during his suspension? We have a report. Take a look.” The broadcast then aired a “news report” with the broadcaster saying, “While serving his suspension for deflating footballs, Tom Brady will earn extra money as the security guard who deflates beach balls thrown on to baseball fields. Tom Brady: Too pretty for suspension” (“Late Show,” CBS, 5/15).

NBC’s Jimmy Fallon said, “This week on Celebrity Jeopardy, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers surprised everyone. He defeated astronaut Mark Kelly and ‘Shark Tank’ investor Kevin O’Leary. ... It might just be me but I think the odds might have been stacked in Rodgers’ favor. Look at the categories.” The broadcast then aired the “categories” from Rodgers’ episode which included the fictional “Football Statistics,” “Playing Football,” “The NFL in General,” “Quarterback Stuff” and “Aaron Rodgers’ Favorite Colors” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 5/15).