Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart said “there’s not much that can get to me anymore” after hosting his show for “like five wars,” but he said of the Deflategate controversy and Tom Brady, “He (EXPLETIVE) knew! He knew that the balls were being deflated!” Stewart later spoke into the camera and said, “Tommy, you cheating (EXPLETIVE)! Why!? You’ve got four Super Bowl rings. You’re married to the biggest supermodel in the world. Your face, your beautiful face, is a wonder of symmetry, a platonic ideal of beauty that can survive even the stupidest of haircuts” (“The Daily With Jon Stewart,” Comedy Central, 5/7).
CBS’ David Letterman: “The Patriots ‘more probably than not’ deflated footballs and I said, ‘I'm sorry, that's just not vague enough for me.’ There apparently are incriminating texts and e-mails about what they called Deflategate. Earlier today, (Hillary Clinton) announced that she would be happy to delete them. Four-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback Tom Brady is in trouble. He may have to spend weekends in a cell with Aaron Hernandez or play for the Jets. By the way, this raises an interesting question: Which way does the commissioner look if he's already looking the other way?” (“Late Show,” CBS, 5/7).
ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel: “Some people believe the Patriots are cheaters who should be fined and penalized and possibly even made to forfeit the games, and other people are from Boston" (“Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC, 5/7).
NBC’s Jimmy Fallon: “The NFL released a 243-page report on the Deflategate scandal. They said the chance that Tom Brady knew the balls were tampered with was ‘more probable than not.’ Who did this investigation, a Magic 8 Ball? ‘Try again later?’ ‘Reply hazy?’” During his monologue last night, Fallon “interviewed” Football #6 from the AFC Championship game between the Patriots-Colts” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 5/7).
