Top Ten....Pleading The Fifth

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Signs You’re At A Bad Cinco de Mayo Party.” CBS’ David Letterman said because “it's Cinco de Mayo, all the numbers will be cinco.” Letterman: “A lot of people think it's Mexican Independence Day. It’s not. No, it’s the battle of Pueblo over the French, the rotten, stinky, lousy French” (“Late Show,” CBS, 5/1).

5) “Ted Cruz Shows up, threatens to deport you.”
5) “Mariachi band only knows ‘Taps.’”
5) “It’s actually a Kinko’s de Mayo Party.”
5) “Rental burro has a terrible disposition.”
5) “A guy from Sag Harbor shows up looking for horn players.”
5) “At this party, piñata hits you!”
5) “Only beverage option: Taco-tinis.”
5) “Party host won’t stop saying, ‘guac.’”
5) “It’s harder to leave than Scientology.”
5) “Fewer than cinco guests.”