NBC’s Jimmy Fallon said, “Tomorrow is the 141st running of the Kentucky Derby! It’s that special time of year when people use a two-minute event as an excuse to drink for 12 hours. ... I heard that the favorite to win the race is a horse called American Pharoah, followed by Dortmund and Carpe Diem. Picked to finish last is Gluestick McTacomeat.” More Fallon: “ESPN is currently suing Verizon because it’s offering customers the choice of certain cable packages that don’t include any of its channels for people who don’t really care about sports. But this isn’t new. They offer a lot of different packages for different kinds of people. You can get SyFy, Cartoon Network and Comedy Central in the ‘Legal Weed’ package. You can get Oxygen, truTV and Lifetime in the ‘I’m Thinking About Killing My Husband’ package. Finally, you can get the CW, Disney Channel and ABC Family in the ‘Normal Teen Girl or Creepy Adult Man’ package” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 5/1).
CBS’ David Letterman said, “The thing about the Kentucky Derby is that it’s usually won by the horse from Kenya. Have you noticed that? … This weekend is the NFL Draft. … The teams will always try to select the best athlete. It’s like the Kardashians” (“Late Show,” CBS, 5/1).
