Top Ten....Phone A Friend

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From A Receptionist” and was read by Art Kelly, the receptionist for CBS’ David Letterman. Letterman said, “Like I need to tell you today is Administrative Professionals Day” (“Late Show,” CBS, 4/22).

10) “Larry’s out of the office. Let me connect you to a different Larry.”
9) “Please stay on the line while I finish this muffin.”
8) “Will someone answer the damn phone?”
7) “I’d love to send you some materials about Scientology.”
6) “(Cough cough cough)”
5) “I have a telephone, you have a telephone; we should hang out.”
4) “Would it kill you to ask who I want to talk to?”
3) “I’ve been told to pretend that he’s in a meeting.”
2) “Sit on your phone and I’ll guess your weight.”
1) “I’ll transfer you now.” Kelly then throws the phone.