Top Ten....Let's Get Physical

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Things Overheard During The Pope’s Physical.” Letterman noted the Pope recently “had to have a yearly physical” (“Late Show,” CBS, 4/2).

10) "Speaking of mass, looks like you've added some."
9) "No, sorry father, you don't need medical marijuana."
8) "Say Aaaaaaah-men."
7) "I don't care what Jenny McCarthy says, you need to be vaccinated."
6) "No need to bless the urine sample."
5) "Cut back on the incense."
4) "Have you tried Pontius Pilates?"
3) "You can't bring the scepter inside the MRI machine."
2) "Turn your hat and cough."
1) "I know you don't use it, but I still have to look at it."