Top Ten....Full Count

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your $95 Million Baseball Player.” David Letterman said the “Red Sox and their fans are concerned” about their new 3B Pablo Sandoval. Letterman: “They had signed this guy for $95 million. He came to training camp fat and out of shape” (“Late Show,” CBS, 2/19).

10) “Are you going to finish that?”
9) “I'm a .294 hitter, and that's just my cholesterol.”
8) “Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks and a hot dog and popcorn and one of those little baseball helmets filled with ice cream.”
7) “Could have sworn the season started in August.”
6) “Can we make it to the ‘7th Inning Brunch?’”
5) “I need a few weekends off for bachelor parties.”
4) “Do the bases have to be so far apart?”
3) “I eat like Babe Ruth; I drink like Ruth Bader Ginsburg.”
2) “Practice? Well, maybe for another 95 million dollars.”
1) “Hello, I'm Alex Rodriguez.”