Top Ten....Dawn Of A New Day

Friday night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear On Christmas Morning.” Letterman said, “The holidays are a wonderful time and there's many reasons to be thankful, especially in the world we live in now. But often, there's tension, and the tension can occur Christmas morning” (“Late Show,” CBS, 12/19).

10) “Freeze--FBI!”
9) “Something’s moving in the tree.”
8) “He left the cookies and milk, but the TV is gone.”
7) “There’s a caroler frozen on the porch.”
6) “Did you get a long, rambling poem about ‘The Late Show,’ too?”
5) “My stocking has a foot in it.”
4) “Do you smell singed hair?”
3) “Santa left a photo he took of us sleeping.”
2) “No, no, no, I said hug grandma and water the tree.”
1) “Just messing with you kids--give the presents back.”