Laugh Track....For Your Eyes Only

Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert said of the recent CIA torture report that stated former President George W. Bush didn’t want to know where the CIA detention facilities were for fear of inadvertently disclosing their location, “It’s a simple slip-up anybody could make. What you mean to say is, ‘Congratulations to the world champion San Antonio Spurs,’ but what comes out is, ‘We’re sticking dental tools up somebody’s pee-hole under a Bulgarian disco.’ Then of course you have to send Tim Duncan to the disco because he knows too much” (“The Colbert Report,” Comedy Central, 12/10).

CBS’ David Letterman said, “Hey, guess who is on the program tonight? The lovely Meryl Streep, ladies and gentlemen. … You know, she was supposed to be here a couple of weeks ago and then a terrible thing happened. She was cleaning her gun and blew off one of her fingers” (“Late Show,” CBS, 12/10).