Top Ten .... Apply Yourself

Friday night’s “Top Ten List” was “Top Ten Questions On The Application to Become Secretary of Defense.” Letterman said, “Earlier today, Chuck Hagel handed in his resignation as Secretary of the Defense Department. … They don't just pick a guy off a bus and say, ‘Come on in.’ You have to fill out an application and apply the old-fashioned way. These are the questions on the application” ("Late Show,” CBS, 11/24).

10) “Do you know Kung Fu?”
9) “What sound does an F-35 make?”
8) “Best time for the NSA to wiretap you?”
7) “What quagmire do you see yourself in in five years?”
6) “Would you run for Mayor of Indianapolis?”
5) “Desired salary, not including Halliburton kickbacks?”
4) “If you could only defend forty-five states -- which would you let go?”
3) “Are you willing to obtain a commercial trucking license?”
2) “Have you ever had an undersecretary, if you know what I mean?”
1) “Do you mind being linked to the Obama administration?”