Top Ten....Leave A Message

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Voicemail Messages Left By Pope Francis.” CBS’ David Letterman said, “Pope Francis made a phone call to a group of nuns in Spain to wish them a happy and healthy new year” (“Late Show,” CBS, 1/6).

10) “Whoops, butt dial.”
9) “Am I the 25th caller?”
8) “Vatican cleaners? This message is for whoever shrunk my hat.”
7) “I’d like to add Cinemax to my cable plan.”
6) “Stop screening your calls--I know you’re there Rusty.”
5) “You’ve got my vote, Mr. Seagal.”
4) “I’ll take the Seahawks minus seven and a half.”
3) “Give me a call back, or just pray.”
2) “Two words, 'Spielberg: Jurassic Pope.'”
1) “Pick up or I’ll bad mouth you to Jesus.”