NBC’s Jay Leno: “In his inaugural address, President Obama praised the patriots of 1776 and said they were much better than the Patriots of last Sunday. … Apparently Beyoncé did not sing the National Anthem at the inauguration. She pretended to sing along to a prerecorded track. You know who caught her? Lance Armstrong. He’s such a stickler for the truth. … There are now rumors going around that when he was sponsored by the U.S. Postal Service, he shipped all his steroids and blood doping materials with UPS. … There has been a lot of criticism of the NFL not hiring enough minority coaches. Of course, the NFL is trying to spin it. They said, ‘What are you talking about? We got two brothers coaching in the Super Bowl.’ … According to a new study out of the University of Wisconsin, as much as 81 percent of people lie on online dating websites, to which Manti Te’o said, ‘Now you tell me.’ TMZ is reporting that recently Manti has been dating an actual girl, a 21-year-old college student, but they broke up after barely two months. I guess he found out an imaginary girlfriend is a lot easier to deal with than a real one. A lot of people believe that Manti was naïve and kind of innocent. I think the guy’s a genius. Now when he starts dating real women and they find text messages on his phone, ‘That’s that imaginary girlfriend’” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 1/23).
ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel: “So in the past week, Lance Armstrong has admitted to doping and Manti Te’o has admitted to being a dope. The ruse went on for a couple of years. If he wanted to date someone fake, he should just have come to L.A. We’ve got millions of fake women here. Eventually, Te’o learned the truth, but he continued to lie presumably because he was too embarrassed to tell the truth. Why do I get the feeling that we’re going to find out in the next few days that Manti Te’o isn’t real?” (“Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC, 1/23).
