Dodgers investor Magic Johnson appeared on NBC’s “The Tonight Show” last night. Host Jay Leno noted Johnson is one of the greatest Lakers ever and now owns a stake in the Dodgers: “God says you got one game (to watch), what are you going to watch, Dodgers or Lakers?” Johnson relied, “Two billion dollars, you’re going to watch the Dodgers.” Leno said, “How much did you overpay for the Dodgers?” Johnson: “The market, Jay, drove the price. You don't overpay for something that you really want and we really wanted the Dodgers. And very happy that we paid $2 billion because we know we're going to get it back.” Leno said he “just bought too soon because you watch, the next team that will go for $2.5 billion, $3 billion. In five years, this will look like the deal of the century.” Leno: “I'm grateful to you because I'm from Boston, so when I want to see the Red Sox now, I just go to Dodger Stadium. You cleaned us out. This is like the biggest trade.” Johnson said, “We're excited because it's made our team better” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 9/5).
ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel: “The NFL season kicked off tonight in New Jersey. The Dallas Cowboys played the defending champion New York Giants. So ladies, I guess we’ll catch up with you somewhere around Valentine’s Day? ... The NFL referees are on strike right now so tonight they used replacement refs. I’m sure these guys are trying to do their best, but some of them were calling high school games last year. They just don’t seem to have the same level of professionalism the regular referees have.” The broadcast aired footage of last night’s Cowboys-Giants game and before the snap a penalty flag was thrown. A Kimmel staffer posing as a referee appeared on-screen to announce the penalty and said, “Okay, so uhh, we got the big guy, uhh, hitting the smaller guy real hard. He’s like, uhh, a fullback or a halfback or … doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter. It’ll be good, it’ll be good. We’re going to push them back like, uhh, 10, 20 of these white lines, baby steps, and uhh, yeah, do-over. Total do-over. Do-over call!” Kimmel: “You see what I’m saying by professional? A top notch referee wouldn’t do that” (“Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC, 9/5).
Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert introduced the recurring segment “Stephen Colbert’s Sport Report” by saying, “Tonight, as we speak, is the beginning of the professional football season. I could not be more football expression that means excited. I wanna say ‘offsides.’” Colbert: “This football season I am pumped for one big rivalry: The festering labor dispute between the owners and the referees. The NFL has enforced a lockout of the refs since July with the parties still divided on a variety of issues, including salaries, retirement benefits, work guarantees and vision coverage, because COME ON REF, ARE YOU BLIND!? Now obviously, you can’t have NFL football without the refs. But the owners just called an audible.” Colbert noted that one replacement official previously worked in the Lingerie League, which “explains why Eli Manning recently got a 15-yard penalty for sporting a whale tail. I am giving my Most Valuable Owner’s Award to the NFL for putting excitement back into this game. With pro refs riding the pine, the NFL has brought in the crème-de-la-available. I assume they’ve hired the sales staff from a Foot Locker” (“The Colbert Report,” Comedy Central, 9/5).
