The season premiere of Comedy Central’s “South Park” predictably took shots at the NFL and Deflategate following the league's controversy-filled offseason. The episode opens with a new no-nonsense principal taking over South Park Elementary and Eric Cartman receiving four days detention, which he accepts without a fight. But his friend, Kyle Broflovski, said, “This isn't you, Cartman! Yeah, where's the Eric Cartman we know? The Eric Cartman we know breaks the rules and he gets away with it, just like his hero. Come on, who's your hero, Cartman?” Sighing, Cartman answers that his hero is Tom Brady. Kyle responds, “And what does Tom Brady do after breaking the rules?” Cartman: “Deny and subvert.” Another friend, Butters, said, “What would Tom Brady say if he got caught shoplifting?” Cartman: “Everybody shoplifts. Why are you coming down on me?” Kyle then gives Cartman a pep talk, saying, “You're Tom Brady, Cartman, and that new principal in there is the football commissioner trying to dictate his punishment to you. What happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator?” Cartman: “A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.” Cartman by this point is fired up and indignant about his detention, saying emphatically, “I'm gonna Tom Brady this thing. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, ‘You're not giving me four days of detention! You're only giving me one. No, no, to hell with that. You're giving me no days detention!'" He adds, "Thanks, guys. I almost forgot the lessons that football has taught us all.”
DREAM A LITTLE DREAM: The new principal, known as P.C. Principal who stresses a politically correct mentality and respect for all (but with a frat guy persona), is confronted by Cartman in the faculty bathroom. The principal proceeds to beat Cartman up, sending him to the hospital. In his hospital bed, Cartman has a dream where he is Brady and is seen wearing a No. 12 Patriots jersey. He says, “I may be down, but I'm not out. Tom Brady's never out.” Then Cartman is shown as NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and a back-and-forth ensues between Brady and Goodell. Goodell says, “You broke the rules!” Brady: “F--- you I broke the rules! You're breaking the rules!” Goodell: “F--- you! You broke the rules!” Brady: “You broke the rules how you found out I broke the rules.” Goodell: “I'm the commissioner. I can break the rules because you guys broke the rules before but I didn't bust you enough.” Cartman then appears as Patriots coach Bill Belichick, who says in unison with Brady, “Just because you didn't bust us enough for breaking the rules, that doesn't mean you can break the rules busting us now.” Goodell: “F--- both you guys. I can do whatever I want. I'm breaking the rules” (“South Park,” Comedy Central, 9/16).
