JUST BE GLAD JOAN RIVERS WASN'T THERE TO CRITIQUE, TYRA

          ESPN's ESPY Awards show on Monday night earned a 2.2
     cable rating, compared to the competing 3.9 cable rating for
     USA's Westminster Dog Show, according to USA TODAY's Rudy
     Martzke.  But ESPN Senior VP John Wildhack said, "I'd rather
     have Jordan and Gretzky than 'sit' and 'stay'" (USA TODAY,
     2/16).  In S.F., Michelle Smith, who attended the event,
     wrote that "watching the ESPYs in person presents one
     overriding redeeming appeal: the gawking" (S.F. EXAMINER,
     2/15).  In Orlando, Jerry Greene: "Others hated the opening
     ceremonies [of the ESPYs] - but that was the only part I
     liked."  Greene: "After that, the show's constant attempts
     at humor were just futile" (ORLANDO SENTINEL, 2/16).  
          PUPPY CHOW: FSN's Jim Rome, on the Westminster Dog
     Show: "Rich losers from across the world flock to New York
     to run around in circles with their dogs.  Sort of like
     NASCAR for dogs. ... The worst news of all, is that the dog
     show pulls huge numbers on TV" ("Last Word," FSN, 2/15).