As NBC's "Seinfeld" ends its nine-year run tonight, THE
DAILY takes a look back at some of the classic sports-related
quotes from the show's history. Here goes nothing:
"Gotta support the team."
-- Devils fan Puddy, on why he's a face painter
("The Face Painter," #103).
"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? Last year he had 30
home runs, over 100 RBIs! He's got a rocket for an arm! You
don't know what the hell you're doing!"
-- Frank Costanza, to George Steinbrenner after being informed by
Steinbrenner of his son's death ("The Caddy," #116).
"You better catch it here Charlie 'cause this ain't Philadelphia!
Hey, .230 ain't gonna cut in this town, babe!"
-- Kramer, to Yankees 3B Charlie Hayes ("The Letter," #37).
"Professional tennis -- I don't understand all the shushing.
Shush. Shush. Don't the players know that we're there? Should
we duck down behind the seats so they don't see us watching? To
me, tennis is just basically ping pong and the players are
standing on the table. That's all it is."
-- Jerry, on the sport of tennis ("The Lip Reader," #67).
"Boy, I'll betcha that guy could cover a lot of court. Hey
buddy, they got a new invention, it's called a napkin."
-- U.S. Open TV announcer, as cameras catch George sloppily
eating a sundae ("The Lip Reader").
"That's how they talk. Everyone's either a bastard or a son of a
bitch. It's like, 'Boy that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit,
huh?' That's how they talk in the major leagues!"
-- George, to Jerry, after spending a night on the town with
execs from the Houston Astros ("The Hot Tub," #109).
"Is that a Titleist? A Hole In One."
-- Kramer, after George pulled one of his range balls out of a
beached whale's blowhole ("The Marine Biologist," #75).
"I didn't even know Cheryl Miller's brother played basketball."
-- Elaine, after being told that Kramer and Spike Lee got into a
fight with Reggie Miller at a Knicks game ("The Susie," #141).
"Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate!"
-- Kramer, explaining why he "plunked" the Yankee great during a
game at the Yankees Fantasy Camp ("The Opposite," #82).
"The thing is, I kind of promised the widow Mantle that I would
name my baby Seven."
-- George, trying to convince his fiance's cousin not to name their
baby after Mickey Mantle's number ("The Seven," #117).
"That's a hell of an organization they're running up there. I
can't understand why they haven't won a pennant in 15 years."
-- Jerry, when George tells him that he's up for a promotion to
become the Yankees' Assistant GM ("The Caddy").
"We're running a ballclub here. If I give special treatment to
you, everyone will want it. Next thing you know, it's chaos --
and I can tell you this -- chaos does not work for the New York
Yankees. Not as long as I'm running the show!"
-- George Steinbrenner, telling George that he didn't get
the promotion because he was presumed dead ("The Caddy").
"Everybody out! I got eggplant on my mind! George, go get me a
couple calzones, right now. Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone!"
-- Steinbrenner, after tasting George's calzone during a meeting
("The Calzone," #123)
"That's fantastic! Keep those muscles loosey-goosey! This could
be big! Big Stein's onto something! I smell a pennant!"
-- Steinbrenner, after hearing of Kramer's idea to heat his
clothes in the oven before wearing them ("The Calzone")
"I used to be like you, berating personnel until they cried,
calling managers on the field during a game, threatening to move
the team to New Jersey just to upset people. And then I found a
way to relax. I've got two words to say to you George: Hot Tub."
-- Steinbrenner, to George, after George's plan to look annoyed
in order to look busy backfires ("The Hot Tub").
"That's right, you want me to say it again, I'll say it again -- I
haven't had a pimple since I was 18, and I don't care whether you
believe me or not! And how's this -- you're fired! OK, you're
not, I'm just a little hungry. Sorry."
-- Steinbrenner, while waiting for George to bring him his daily
eggplant calzone ("The Calzone")
