LETTERMAN GIVES HIS "TOP TEN" WORLD SERIES THOUGHTS

          DAVID LETTERMAN's Top Ten Signs Your Baseball Team
     Won't Be Playing In The World Series ("Late Show," 10/17): 

10)  Team's idea of a double play -- bourbon with a beer chaser.
9)   Home games played in parking lot of local bowling alley. 
8)   Players refuse to slide for fear of ruining their manicure. 
7)   Manager is in excellent shape from walking out to the  
     mound after every pitch. 
6)   Players keep pointing at the bat and saying, "Is that some 
     kinda ball-wackin' stick?" 
5)   Team uniforms are made from duct tape and bedspreads. 
4)   When team takes the field, more than a few are carrying   
     folding chairs. 
3)   On pop fouls, catcher takes off his mask, jersey, socks,    
     and pants. 
2)   Your best hitter's nickname: "The Sultan of Suck." 
1)   Instead of tobacco, players chew asbestos. 



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