I’ll never forget my first trip to the beautiful Sheikh Zayed Mosque in Abu Dhabi. I had just finished competing in the Abu Dhabi Grand Slam in the United Arab Emirates in 2014. It was the first time that I had been forced to face the issue of gender inequality head on when I had to wear an “abaya,” a traditional full body covering cloak common in Arab states if I wanted to enter the mosque. The stark realization that I had been sheltered from any true gender-specific restrictions most of my life was shocking.
I have been competing at an elite level in judo for 15 years. I’ve fought in two Olympic Games and hold a bronze medal in the under-57kg category from the 2012 London Games. I love judo, I love the Olympic movement, and I love being a strong, independent woman.
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Marti Malloy celebrates her bronze-medal win in judo at the London Olympic Games in 2012.
Photo by: GETTY IMAGES
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In an attempt to avoid sounding callous, insensitive or uncaring, I’ll start by pointing out that women today are still struggling on many fronts with issues related to sexism. As an American, I have been fortunate enough to be born in a country made up of courageous trailblazing women who will stop at nothing to see women gain equal pay, exposure, rights and recognition. I know there are millions around the world who are not so lucky and live in danger every day because they are female. I don’t mean to marginalize them or oversimplify the issues surrounding their struggle. But my reaction to sexism has always been pretty simple: I just don’t accept it.
I still remember my freshman year of college when I learned what Title IX was. This historic piece of law was a shock to me. I actually said to myself, “We had to make this law in order for people to treat each other fairly?” As you can see, I was very naive. Or maybe I was just lucky. Maybe it’s the way I was raised or my personal experiences growing up with three brothers while training in a martial art that made me this way.
I first stepped on the judo mat when I was 6 years old and since then there has never been a question in my mind about what women can do or achieve and what men can do or achieve. For me, they have always been the same because I was never taught that I should expect different things from different genders. For example, at judo practice we would warm up by doing 100 pushups and 100 sit-ups. Our coach would make everyone do them the correct way whether you were a boy or a girl, old or young. I consider myself lucky to have been exposed to this type of standard regarding women’s vs. men’s abilities from an early age and being able to identify where double standards existed. I guess I have my family life to thank for that.
I knew that I was chosen to lead because of my character and my ability. … Why is it impressive that I happen to be a girl?
My mom was the oldest of four sisters and grew up on a dairy farm, taking on the roles of what at that time were considered the “first son’s” responsibility. Herding cattle, hunting, horseback riding and raising livestock were things that my grandfather could not do alone, and so my mom did them with him. It didn’t matter that she was a girl, it mattered that it was necessary.
Fast-forward to my upbringing. I’m the only girl among three male siblings and start a martial art like judo while all my kindergarten friends (and my brothers) were taking ballet. Fast-forward even further to when I am 21 and am named team captain of the San Jose State University judo team my junior year. The impressed looks from people when they learned that I was the leader of a 25-person team consisting of mostly men was insulting to me. I knew that I was chosen to lead because of my character and my ability to set an example through my training and attitude. Why is it impressive that I happen to be a girl? I always thought, “I’m best suited for the job!” I understood that I was the first woman to have that role and that most people’s surprise stemmed from the unconventionality of it. But for me it was not unconventional. I had been bossing boys around and beating them up at practice and in tournaments since I was 6. It was my norm. So while men on the SJSU team were bigger than me and could probably overpower my 5-foot-3, 130-pound frame, that didn’t mean they could demand respect any better than me. That confidence is something I have developed and learned through a lifetime of nonacceptance for gender-specific roles or abilities.
Fast-forward to the place I am in now. With two Olympic Games and two degrees under my belt, I find myself facing the next phase in life, the professional one. I know that the belief in my abilities that I have developed throughout my life have prepared me to face whatever this new stage brings. I plan to continue not accepting any standard that tips the scales in a gender-specific direction rather than in an ability-based direction. Why should I?
The good part about all this is that as I have aged I have experienced less and less of the “Wow, you’re in a position of power and you’re a girl, how amazing,” reactions. We are by no means done fighting to make the world recognize where double standards run rampant and to bring equal rights to women across the globe. But with the strong voices of women everywhere and from every walk of life becoming louder every day, we are getting closer and closer.
Marti Malloy (@Martidamus) competed for the U.S. Olympic judo team in two Olympic Games and earned her master’s degree in mass communications from San Jose State University in 2015.
