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Volume 24 No. 160
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Top Ten....Whatever Floats Your Boat

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Things To Look For In This Year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.” CBS’ David Letterman said, “You know they're talking about high winds for the parade, and if they're having the high winds, that means no balloons. And you know what that means, if there's no balloons, why are we leaving the house? If there's no balloons, I'm not getting out of the car” (“Late Show,” CBS, 11/26).

10) “Clowns on parole.”
9) “All your favorite stars from 2003.”
8) “Floats powered by leftover Iranian uranium.”
7) “The Home Depot mulching band.”
6) “Drifters from Minnesota.”
5) “The stop-and-frisk dance squad.”
4) “Due to high winds, Garfield balloon dragged down Broadway.”
3) “Governor Chris Christie hacking up a wishbone.”
2) “Parade coverage hosted by Matt Lauer as Pam Anderson.”
1) “Miley Cyrus swinging on a Butterball.”