Laugh Track....Deuces Wild

NBC’s Jay Leno: “’Man of Steel’ had a huge weekend at the box office. It made $125 million, finished in first place and sadly, finishing in second place, Phil Mickelson. You know, Phil Mickelson has now finished as runner-up in the U.S. Open six times without winning. In fact, when asked how it feels to be No. 2 again, he said it feels like No. 2” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 6/17).

CBS’ David Letterman: “Like 20 years ago, the owner of the Super Bowl was at a party someplace with Vladimir Putin – how does that happen? – and Vladimir Putin says, ‘Wow, that’s some ring!’ And Bob Kraft said, ‘Take a look at it.’ Putin takes look at it, puts it in his pocket, good-bye! ‘Can I have it back?’ ‘Nyet!’ So now it turns out that the owner would like his Super Bowl ring back. He even offered to trade Tim Tebow for the ring” (“Late Show,” CBS, 6/17).