Laugh Track....Single And Ready To Mingle
NBC’s Jay Leno: “The New York Times is reporting that the CIA has given Afghanistan President Karzai and his government tens of millions of dollars in cash to buy influence. See, throwing a lot of money at something is not always a solution, just ask the Lakers. Well, the big story in basketball, Washington Wizards center Jason Collins told Sports Illustrated, ‘I’m black. And I’m gay.’ In all fairness, I think we already knew he was black. Any confusion? I kind of had that part nailed. Well, that’s not a big deal in the NBA anymore, being black. Of course, Collins could never play for the Lakers, not because he’s gay. He’s only 34 years old. You've got to be 40, 45. Yesterday Tim Tebow was cut by the New York Jets, although today, he did sign with somebody, christianmingle.com. I think Tim Tebow’s going to be okay because as you know, when the door to football closes, the door to ‘Dancing With The Stars’ opens” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 4/30).
CBS’ David Letterman: “A guy playing a toss the ball game at a carnival lost his entire life savings. It has been one tough week for Tim Tebow. Yes, the Tim Tebow era is over here in New York City. He was fired by the New York Jets and a lot of fans are blaming Matt Lauer” (“Late Show,” CBS, 4/30).
Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart said, “If you follow the world of sports or homosexuality, yesterday brought major news in both. ... I don’t think any of us expected we’d live to see the day when (there were) three openly gay wizards.” Photos of Jason Collins, Dumbledore from the “Harry Potter” movie series and actor Ian McKellen as Gandalf from the “Lord of the Rings” franchise were shown on-screen. Stewart said it is a “pretty great day for major league sports. At long last, they’ve decided that gay people are fit to be included in their elite club, one that’s already allowed in adulterers, wife swappers, gamblers, cheaters, rapists, racists and slaughterers of man, those who’ve abused spouses, drugs, alcohol, family members and animals. ... Congratulations gay athletes. You sure you want to hang around these (EXPLETIVE) people?” (“The Daily Show,” Comedy Central, 4/30).