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Volume 24 No. 115
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Top Ten....Monkey Business

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Travelling With Your Monkey.” Letterman said, “As we all know, some disturbing news coming out of Germany. They’ve confiscated Justin Bieber’s monkey” (“Late Show,” CBS, 4/2).

10) “When was my last tetanus shot?”
9) “Would it be easier to FedEx the monkey?”
8) “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”
7) “Should I take my monkey out of school for this?”
6) “Are we visiting countries that consider monkey a delicacy?”
5) “Isn’t this the premise of every disease-outbreak movie?”
4) “Will other travelers mind the smell of monkey?”
3) “Should my monkey and I just take a ‘staycation?’”
2) “Do I have my monkey’s allergy medication?”
1) “Germany is welcoming to monkeys, right?”