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Volume 24 No. 155
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Top Ten....Can You Hear Me Now?

Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Things Overheard at the Home of the Couple Who Have Been Married 80 Years.” Letterman said, “A couple in Connecticut have been recognized as the longest-married couple in the United States … (at) over 80 years. And their secret: Compromise and they don’t hold a grudge. I mean honestly, on paper it looks pretty good” (“Late Show,” CBS, 2/7).

10) “Don't you think it's time we consummate this thing?”
9) “I've been thinking about something you said 75 years ago.”
8) “Where are my pills?”
7) “You're wearing my teeth again.”
6) “I said, 'Where are my pills?’”
5) “Let's not divorce until the great-grandkids leave for college.”
4) “It's time we start planning for retirement.”
3) “I'm sorry I cheated on you with Herbert Hoover.”
2) “It's been more than four hours; we better call the doctor.”
1) “What the hell are you doing in my half of the house?”