"Man, I'm tired of salsa. We wake up, and it's salsa.
We got chips and dip for breakfast."
-- FSU CB Mario Edwards, on Frito-Lay's sponsorship of
the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl (TAMPA TRIBUNE, 1/1).
"Some have been great, some have been wiseasses. They'll come
back. This is basketball. Everybody loves basketball."
-- Celtics G Kenny Anderson, on fan
reaction to the lockout (BOSTON GLOBE, 1/7).
"Agents are like rats. We can adjust to anything."
-- Agent Keith Glass, on the perception that agents
will have less influence under new NBA labor deal
(Newark STAR-LEDGER, 1/8).
"I think the game itself is a lot bigger than Michael Jordan."
-- Michael Jordan, announcing his retirement (THE DAILY)
"Michael Jordan had to retire, ladies and gentlemen. He had to
retire. There was nothing left for him to endorse."
-- CBS David Letterman ("Late Show," CBS, 1/13).
"I'll call him Percy. A coach can't call a player Master."
-- Hornets coach Dave Cowens, on rapper Percy "Master P" Miller
being added to the team's training camp roster
(CHARLOTTE OBSERVER, 1/22).
"I shouldn't be holding this. It's like holding marijuana."
-- Providence Mayor Vincent Cianci, holding up a
skateboard when announcing that his city would host the
Gravity Games for the next three years
(Providence JOURNAL, 2/10).
"I'd be lying if I didn't think there will be some negative
reaction somewhere about it. But it is our belief most of the
reaction will be positive."
-- Turner Sports Exec Producer Mike Pearl,
on rehiring Marv Albert (ATLANTA CONSTITUTION, 2/16).
"Steve's entitled to his opinions, no matter how naive,
self-serving or condescending."
-- Fox Sports Senior VP/Media Relations Vince Wladika, after ESPN
Chair Steve Bornstein referred to Fox on HBO's "Real Sports" as
"a bit of a mosquito" (USA TODAY, 2/19).
"They should change their names to, say, Leigh 'Mob G'
Steinberg and David 'Funk Nasty' Falk."
-- Columnist Darrell Fry, on how agents can remain hip
after recent player signings by Master P's No Limit Sports
(ST. PETERSBURG TIMES, 2/24).
"Let us hope they put a lot more thought into
this union than the name."
-- Joel Sherman, on YankeeNets (N.Y. POST, 2/26).
"Canadians, if you don't care, please just say so, I
won't mind. If Canadians don't care, nobody will be
offended, least of all me. I'll be a lot richer because I
won't have all this money tied up in a team that can't
possibly make any significant return."
-- Senators Chair Rod Bryden (OTTAWA SUN, 3/3).
"When he said, 'I'm going to help you,' that's when I
knew we were in trouble. When an agent says those five
words, cover your wallet and run like hell."
-- T'Wolves VP Kevin McHale, on failed negotiations
with agent David Falk regarding G Stephon Marbury
(Minneapolis STAR TRIBUNE, 3/12).
"Let me say once and for all, I did not have
physical contact with that player."
-- Voiceover corresponding to film footage of President
Clinton, which is shown on the Jumbotron in Nashville when a
Predators player is assessed a penalty (TENNESSEAN, 3/18).
"Don, shouldn't you be out fixing fights?"
-- David Letterman, to surprise guest Don King
("Late Show," CBS, 3/22).
"Patrick and his Georgetown boys messed up the lockout.
Georgetown is supposed to be a five-star university? Yeah,
right. That's why he and 'Zo were trying to play lawyer, trying
to intimidate billionaires like Paul Allen. Please."
-- Shaquille O'Neal, on Patrick Ewing (SI, 3/29).
"We're brother and sister. Genes did that. I didn't."
-- Eddie DeBartolo, on his relationship with his sister Denise
DeBartolo York, after filing a countersuit against her for $150M
(CONTRA COSTA TIMES, 4/16).
"We have a number of global plans, among which, is to make him
the most celebrated foreign athlete in China, the world's largest
economy. Thus, there's Chinese on my business cards, and Ricky's
learning how to sign his name in Chinese."
-- No Limit Sports' Leland Hardy, on marketing plans for
Ricky Williams (THE DAILY).
"When we heard the extent of the tragedy -- at that
point, athletic contests hold little meaning after that."
-- Nuggets GM Dan Issel, on postponing a Blazers-
Nuggets game due to the events at Columbine High School
(DENVER POST, 4/21).
"It sucks. How's that? Is that OK?"
-- Hartford Mayor Michael Peters, asked how it felt to
lose the Patriots (HARTFORD COURANT, 5/2).
"When somebody assaults the bird, it detracts from the
enjoyment of the game."
-- Orioles Dir of PR John Maroon, on a Philadelphia fan shoving
the Orioles' "Bird" mascot off the right centerfield wall,
causing it to suffer an injured ankle and bruised shoulder
(Baltimore SUN, 5/7).
"His actions demanded a response, and that response is 'shut up.'
-- NBC Sports Chair Dick Ebersol, on outspoken IOC
critic David D'Alessandro (N.Y. TIMES, 6/2).
"It doesn't help that hockey hasn't been able to take its young
stars like Paul Kariya and make him a national star.
They're still celebrating Wayne Gretzky."
-- Fox Sports Exec Producer Ed Goren, after criticism that Fox
did not do enough to promote its NHL coverage
(L.A. DAILY NEWS, 6/4).
"We don't need parties, we don't need cocktails,
we don't need dinners."
-- IOC Dir General Francois Carrard, on cutting extra amenities
provided to IOC members during the Games (S.L. TRIBUNE, 6/16).
"You'll Come for the Hamm, You'll Stay for the Brandi."
-- No. 4 on David Letterman's "Top Ten Slogans for the U.S.
Women's World Cup Team" ("Late Show," CBS, 6/28).
"I scored, my team won and I was really hot. What the
heck. For the rest of my life I'll probably be remembered
as the chick who ripped her shirt off. That's fine. I'm
also the World Cup champion."
-- Brandi Chastain (DETROIT NEWS, 7/12).
"We were all very impressed by the fact that she's got
a very large chest and she's not wearing a sports bra. They
might want to change that."
-- 19-year-old Jennifer Dagel, on the WNBA Barbie doll
(ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS, 7/27).
"There is no elegant way of saying you're fired."
-- Outgoing MLS Commissioner Doug Logan, at a
press conference (THE DAILY).
"You don't have to own the team to be a fan."
-- Walt Disney CEO Michael Eisner (L.A. TIMES, 8/17).
"This computer thing is getting totally out of hand.
Let's just watch the match."
-- USA Network's John McEnroe, following an on-air
promotion for additional tennis coverage at usanetwork.com
(USA, 8/31)
"All I read in the paper is how fat and how arrogant we are.
You know what, I'm not fat."
-- NL umpire Tom Hallion, one of the 22 umpires whose
resignations were accepted by MLB
("CBS Evening News," 9/1).
"Gretzkey."
-- Wayne Gretzky's name, which was misspelled on the
MSG scoreboard, as part of an answer to a trivia question
during a Senators-Rangers game (N.Y. TIMES, 11/11).
"At least we got him with the right product."
-- ABC's Boomer Esiason, after John Elway was shown with a Coors
Light while attending a Raiders-Broncos game ("MNF," ABC, 11/22).
"It's more important what you get than what you pay."
-- ESPN President George Bodenheimer, on the network
paying $800M over the next six years for MLB TV rights, a
significant increase from its current deal (Mult., 12/7).
"The problem we faced at the beginning of the year
-- today we will say this problem is solved."
-- IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch, closing the
IOC's reform meetings in Lausanne (L.A. TIMES, 12/13).
-30-
