NBC’s Jimmy Fallon said, “The Giants announced that they are benching Eli Manning this weekend. Eli’s not sure what’s worse: not getting to play for the Giants or having to watch the Giants. It feels like it’s a catch-22. Instead of Eli, the Giants will start former Jets quarterback Geno Smith. You know things are bad when your solution is, ‘Let’s try the guy who was cut by the Jets.’”
Fallon then said of news regarding the reigning Ballon d'Or winner, “A new bust of soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo was just unveiled and it looks a lot more like him than the last one that went viral.” After showing images of both busts, Fallon said, “A lot of people are speaking out about the update, including the statues themselves. First, the new statue said, ‘I’m beyond honored to represent a truly wonderful athlete, Cristiano Ronaldo.’ Then the old statue said, ‘I’mma be hernest. I may be smerlin’ on the outside, but I ain’t nerthin’ but sad on the ernside.’ Then the new statue said, ‘For the rest of my days, I will proudly stand for Ronaldo.’ The old statue said, ‘Enjoy it while it lersts, pal. One day you’re on terp of the werld and nerxt? It's all gern.’ Then an old statue of Lucille Ball spoke up and said, ‘Kerp your herd up, man. We’ve all bern therr.’ And finally the courtroom sketch of Tom Brady said, ‘Yeah, things get berter. Trust mer’” (The Tonight Show,” NBC, 11/29).
Justin Timberlake appeared on CBS’ “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” last night. Host Stephen Colbert noted that Timberlake will be performing at halftime of Super Bowl LII and that Timberlake’s last halftime show performance was in '04 with Janet Jackson and the infamous wardrobe malfunction. Colbert said, “I remember the last time you did it. Kind of remember a few things about that. Any big plans?” Timberlake said, “It will be a great show.” Colbert noted that the halftime show had to be “the biggest audience” on TV. Timberlake added, “It is. Every year. Apparently, a lot of people watch the Super Bowl and, like you alluded to, I have learned a lot of people watch the Super Bowl.” Colbert showed an image of Timberlake from his upcoming film, “Wonder Wheel,” where Timberlake was dressed as a lifeguard during the '50s. Timberlake joked, “I want to be clear, I will not be wearing that at the Super Bowl” (“The Late Show,” CBS, 11/29).
Comedian Tom Thakkar appeared on TBS’ “Conan” last night where he performed a brief stand-up routine. Thakkar said, “My name used to be Tom Brady, and I had to change it because apparently there’s this guy, who sucks, and it was a bad name for comedy. I was getting booed in sports towns. I did a show in Indianapolis, Indiana, where the Colts play, and there was a white rapper hosting the show. ... This guy saw my name on the list of comedians and his eyes lit up and he went up to the mic and he was like, ‘Oh, man, y'all aren't going to believe what's about to happen now. We’re Colts fans in here, right?’ And (the audience) was like ‘Woooo!’ And he was like, ‘And we all hate the damn Patriots, right?’ And they were like ‘Yeah!’ Then he said, I swear to God, ‘Who is the biggest little punk ass bitch you could think of who plays for the Patriots?’ And all together, like they had been practicing it before I got there, they were like ‘Tom Brady!’ and then he just goes, ‘Yeah! Here he is, here is Tom Brady!’ Then, they all started booing and he just handed me the microphone like, ‘Good luck, man. Sorry about that. I don’t know why that happened. Have a good little show’” (“Conan,” TBS, 11/29).
