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Laugh Track....Deep Sixed

NBC’s Jimmy Fallon said, “The Philadelphia 76ers set a new record for the longest losing streak in American sports history with 28 losses in a row since last season. You know the 76ers are bad when they leave the game early to beat traffic.” The show’s in-house band, The Roots, are from Philadelphia and members of the band then took turns making jokes about the Sixers. MC Tariq Trotter said, “The Sixers are so bad that the last time they won, Ben Franklin had courtside seats.” Drummer Questlove: “The Sixers are so bad, they're now named after how many people are in the crowd.” Band member James Poyser: “The 76ers are so bad, they're the real reason the Fresh Prince left Philadelphia.” Band member Kamal Gray: “They're so bad, they think the NBA stands for ‘No Baskets Allowed.’” Fallon added, “The 76ers are so bad that Nike is sponsoring them to wear adidas” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 11/30).

ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel said, “(Lakers G) Kobe Bryant announced yesterday he will retire at the end of the season, whereas the rest of the Lakers retired last month, I think. Kobe retired via poem, which is unusual for an athlete. Most athletes retire with a haiku. Kobe said this season is all he has left to give, his body knows it's time to say good-bye. His plan is to go out like Michael Jordan: by growing a Hitler moustache and doing underwear commercials. I wish him well” (“Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC, 11/30).

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