Laugh Track....The Cowboy Way

NBC's Jay Leno: "The NFL is now looking for ways to boost attendance at games. This is a big problem because more and more people are just staying home and watching the games on their high-definition TV sets. And it's not just the fans, oh no. In fact, every year that's where the Dallas Cowboys watch the Super Bowl. The teams are pulling out all the stops to boost attendance. For example, Manti Te'o's new team, the San Diego Chargers, are having a new promotion at their stadium. Buy one ticket and your imaginary girlfriend gets in free" ("The Tonight Show," NBC, 5/23).

ABC's Jimmy Kimmel: "This morning an 80-year-old Japanese man became the oldest person ever to reach the top of the Mt. Everest, or at least that's what they're telling him. He really just took three weeks to walk up the ramp at Walmart. … He also climbed Mt. Everest when he was 70 and 75. When you're that old it's actually easier to do because you let your testicles do most of the climbing" ("Jimmy Kimmel Live," ABC, 5/23).