Fox' "The Cleveland Show" this week featured the Dodgers as a central plot element, with the show's main character Cleveland Brown landing a job as a scout for the team. Cleveland reports to work at Dodger Stadium, wandering onto the field during a game. Dodgers RF ANDRE ETHIER says to Cleveland, “Aren’t you a little old to be a rookie?” Cleveland replies, “Rookie? I don’t think so.” After being hit in the leg by a ball, Cleveland yelled angrily, “I’ll sue you!” Dodgers CF MATT KEMP yelled back, “Get that fat man off the field!” After Cleveland is kicked off the field for interrupting game play, he reports to his new office, which is far from Dodger Stadium. Cleveland is then told to “log 17,000 hours of Venezuelan high school baseball games." During a front office meeting, one exec says of a prospect, “We project his BABIP to return to his mean, increasing his WAR by...” Cleveland interjects, “Can it, nerd!” He then announces he has “discovered some players,” which turn out to be Red Sox DH DAVID ORTIZ, Phillies SS JIMMY ROLLINS and Reds 1B JOEY VOTTO. The exec in charge replies, “Cleveland, you do know that these guys are current Major League players on other teams.” Cleveland: “I offered them a billion dollars. Don’t make me look like an (expletive)."
TRADIN' PAINT: Another episode of “The Cleveland Show” this week featured several prominent NASCAR drivers. Cleveland and his wife Donna have too much to drink due to the stress of Donna's political campaign, and unexpectedly wind up at Richmond Int’l Raceway during a Sprint Cup Series race. Cleveland runs onto the track and yells, “Caution, caution!” This causes a wreck, after which DALE EARNHARDT JR. asks, “What the heck are you doing, buddy!? You could get killed!” Cleveland replies, “My wife’s running for school board and there’s a debate in an hour.” Earnhardt: “Why didn’t you say so? Nothing is more important to NASCAR than education.” TONY STEWART then pulls alongside Earnhardt and asks, "What’s going on over there? We’re trying to have a race.” After being informed Donna would be late to her debate, Stewart says on his radio, “Guys, we got a school board emergency." With Donna in Earnhardt's car, and Cleveland riding with Stewart, they race each other to the meeting. KASEY KAHNE says, “With Dale and Tony and all the rest of the cars wrecked, I can win this thing just by driving sensibly" (“The Cleveland Show,” Fox, 3/17).
