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"NOMAH" BRINGS SOME "HONOR" TO THE SULLIVAN HOME ON "SNL"

          Red Sox SS NOMAR GARCIAPARRA played himself on NBC's
     "Saturday Night Live" in a skit featuring the sex-obsessed MA
     teenagers, Sully (JIMMY FALLON) and Denise (RACHEL DRATCH). 
     Garciaparra was dating Sully's sister, Bernadette, played by
     guest host KATE HUDSON.  As usual, Sully wore a
     Garciaparra/Red Sox batting jersey.   When "Nomah" entered
     the room, Sully and Denise said they were "wicked" excited to
     see him.   Sully: "Bernadette, [you] have brought honah to
     the Sullivan house."  Denise: "Sully, don't look directly at
     him.  He's got a heart murmuh."  Garciaparra, to Denise, Pat
     and Bernadette: "I'm not a superhero.  I'm a person, just
     like you are.  And you too can be as successful as I am as
     long as you stay in school and follow your dreams.  Now get
     out of here so I can make out with your sister."  Before
     leaving, Denise tells Bernadette, "You should totally try to
     get pregnant [by Garciaparra].  You'd get a wicked cute baby
     and a fat check every month."  Before leaving, Sully asked
     Garciaparra, "But Nomah, I'll have nothing to remember you
     by."  Garciaparra: "I'll give your sister a couple of
     souvenir balls" ("SNL," NBC, 10/14).  "SNL" execs called
     Garciaparra's agents on Thursday, and on Friday "he was off
     to New York for rehearsals" (BOSTON HERALD, 10/14).
          N.Y. STORIES: On the "Late Show," CBS' David Letterman
     offered his "TOP TEN SIGNS NEW YORK HAS BASEBALL FEVER." 
     Among the highlights: No. 9) Teams are doing so well, HILLARY
     CLINTON split on whom to pretend to root for.  No. 8)
     Inscription on Statue of Liberty reads, "Give me your tired,
     your poor, your huddled masses and we'll beat them in a best-
     of-seven series."  No. 7) Sirens on ambulances play "We Will
     Rock You."  No. 6) MAYOR GIULIANI using "baseball fever" as
     excuse to spray city with toxic chemicals.  No. 5) More
     school absence notes mentioning "torn rotator cuff."  No. 2)
     Hookers offering baseball special: for $100 they'll be the
     Yanker and you can be the Yankee.  No. 1) Upsurge in newborns
     named "KNOBLAUCH" ("Late Show," CBS, 10/13).

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